(This contains spoilers and references to the brilliant film, Get Out. So, if you don't want it spoiled, don't read this. At least not yet. Seriously, go see it already!)
After seeing Jordan Peele's film, Get Out, it became clear that I couldn't just go on living the same way I had for my entire life. To my fellow Black people who saw the film, I bet you feel the same way. I felt it imperative to take some notes afterward, and now I'm sharing them. I gotta look out for my brothas and sistas. So, these are the new rules for living thanks to Get Out.
1) Respect the TSA and make a friend that works for them if you don't have one already.
2) Only go where there are at least 15-20 other Black people easily present.
3) Don't go there. Let the parents come visit you.
4) If one parent does hypnosis, say hell to the no!
5) If she has a flower name, step!
6) Make sure you have a boy or girl who has your back, just in case.
7) Stay fit. You might need to outrun people running quickly at weird and sharp angles.
8) If you see someone eating Froot Loops or any sugary cereal with a glass of milk and no bowl, get out!
9) Make sure the flash on your smartphone camera is working.
10) No more tea! Like ever. Bye Teavana!
11) Behold the coagula. Shit! They got me! Where's my boy?!